Why You Should Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
A cup of coffee, your favourite newspaper, some cereal or rolls for breakfast. Just as you like it. A day at work, nothing special, you go home, dinner with the family, then a few hours on the couch watching TV before you fall asleep. An average day. Just the way you are used to living your life. But that damn salary...why can't you just get a raise? And this boring job you have...but it's so hard to start looking for a new one, what if you fail? You have a monthly salary, after all, could be better, but write applications...? Your friend has been talking about this awesome opportunity overseas and you know you have nothing to lose all you need to do is take it... But you don't! It would involve loads of preparations and energy... And what would mom/dad/your friends/the neighbors say anyway? Get prepared for interviews? Finally ask the boss for a raise? Go ask the girl with that amazing smile at work on a date? Call the dentist and book an appointment because of that aching tooth? Call an aquaintance/an old classmate with hundreds of connections on the field where you want to build your career? You are not happy in your relationship anymore.... You want to move out of home... Oh, God, all these things take all your energy, and you have to call people, ask people, you have to take actions, you have to ACT! It's simply so much! Way too much for you to handle, fosince you are used to this comfortable (is it, really?) lifestyle. Because if you act, if you leave your partner, if you call that person, if you ask your boss, you might as well just...fail!! Or end up in a new situation, which you are not used to... Which may (and probably will) lead you to your goal (the thing you want, the very thing you're complaining about not having), but you just don't do anything because you are sitting in your comfort zone and just won't move!
It May Be Uneasy But It's Worth It
Alright, so you want to stay in your comfort zone. Yet you want to experience newer, better and more exciting aspects of life. You know all you have to do is....do something! But since you find it hard and trying you just stay where you are, silently telling yourself "Ah, maybe it wouldn't have worked anyway" and accept that that's all life has in stock for you.
But why would you give up? When all you have to do is pull yourself together and get over your fears. Because that's when miracles begin to happen. That's when you can pat yourself on the back and be proud of yourself. That's when you get things done. That's when you get one step closer to your goal. Regardless of the results. Results will show in the end. They always do. Just be patient with yourself and accept that you have arrived to the boundaries of your comfort zone which you are about to cross. It is okay to be afraid. It is okay to be nervous. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to be shy. Once you are done - be proud! You will FEEL much better. And like I said, good things (even if they don't always seem like good ones) will start to happen when you finally the decide that you've had enough of the boring weekdays! The feeling is incredible, I can tell you. Although I'm sure you have had such experiences as well, right?
Been There Done That
Getting out of the comfort zone is not easy for anyone. Not for me either. I've always been the shy and silent type. Or I would say: I was the shy and silent type when I was younger. Because I don't think I am anymore!
Now, when I was around 18, I got tired of me not daring to do such simple things like: go to a store where I had to tell the shop assistent what I wanted to buy. (Sounds silly? Maybe...but that's the truth!) So I took a job where my tasks involved delivering important letters to various departments. Now, from not daring to go to a store to getting in contact with people at departments and authorities on a daily basis, that was a difference..! Yes, it was challenging. But I wanted to change! I wanted to be brave and walk on the sunny side instead of constantly going in the shadow, if you know what I mean. Then 6 years ago I decided to do a tour guide training. What does a tour guide do? Right: speaks in front of an auidence! What was I afraid of? Yes, speaking in front of an audience! As time passed by, I became better and better at it. It also helped me to hold presentations much easier later on at college. I was so good that I often got praised by the teacher. Could you believe that only a few years prior to that I ran out of the classroom, saying I felt sick when I was supposed to do my part in a group presentation, just because I was too afraid to stand in front of the class and talk?
Alright, so you decide to start working on yourself so as to achieve your goal and change your thoughts from negative to positive. Great! The first step is done. But then, how to go on? Why is it so hard and why don't you see immediate results? Why do you keep struggling with doubts regarding whether it's going to work or not? And why does life seem much harder now when you are on the way towards a happy life, shouldn't it be the other way round? And anyway, things may have been much worse before but now, with all these new thoughts, everything feels so uncomfortable.. oh, and why do other people seem to overcome stumbling blocks easier than you? Or find it easy to be happy for no reason?
Another thing I can come up with that could motivate you is the story of my latest job. I've been living in Sweden for 3-4 years now and despite the fact that I speak the language fluently, I was not satisfied with my telephone skills. I was simply too afraid to make a phone call and found every kind of excuses not to make one. But I also knew this was preventing me from finding a job. Well, I needed money and I needed a job. And I wanted to get rid of my fears. Guess what I did. I took a job where I had to talk on the phone regularly. Yes, I worked as a receptionist subsitute. Do you think it was easy? I wanted to hand in my notice after the very first day! It was awful! I didn't understand at least half of the people who called...almost only the people speaking the dialects I was not used to seemed to call that day! I was terrified! I was lost! I wanted to run away! I wanted to call my employer and tell her they needed to find someone who was born in the country because I was not good enough for the task. But at the same time I knew that I would feel really sad and disappointed in myself if I gave up. So I took some time, calmed down and continued. And when I shifted my state of mind from worried and nervous to calm...everything started to work out smoothly. On my last day I got some kind words and positive feedback from the people working there so...I guess I did a great job.
Everything You Are Used to Was Once New And Unusual
Getting out of your comfort zone is just like my experience with working as a receptionist: everything is new and unusual at first. But gradually you familiarize yourself with the new situation, new people, new ways to do things... And you get used to it all! Remember when you got your current job? Weren't you nervous? Remember when you said you couldn't imagine living without your significant other? And later on you kept telling everyone that breaking up with him/her was the best thing you possibly could do and that you are happy about it? Remember when you had been hesitating asking someone for a favor and when you finally did, the person turned out to be the most helpful person you ever met? Remember the relief when you finally dared to do something and said "Oh, it wasn't that hard after all"?
What are you waiting for? Do you want to improve your life or not? What/When is your next challenge? Mine is tomorrow. It's kind of becoming a hobby - I am so excited to break the walls around me and say yes to life.
Written by Andi September 05, 2010
*Photo by Julia Freeman-Woolpert
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